Dinner Guest
by Jaha Canon
Summary: Rolf's family has a guest over for dinner... how will he survive? Surprise Extra added!
1. Dinner Guest

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Dinner Guest

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: I still do not own the Eds. 

Jaha: I am back once again with another story… a good one too!

Cactus Buddy: I will be a judge of that.

Jaha: Indeed, you will be, Cactus Buddy. 

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Honestly… I had an idea that this was going to end up being a stressful evening, but this is a bit much. I am still shaking… I am NEVER going back there for dinner again!

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Dinner Guest

Rolf was finishing the last bit of this chores, keeping an eye on the setting sun. He had until dark to finish his chores and he was a bit distracted earlier by the Eds' latest "act of bafoonery". The punishment of spending another night in the cursed cupboard was not something Rolf wanted. So, he quickened up his usual pace. After he finished knitting earmuffs for Victor, he sat back relieved. He was finally finished.

…or so he thought…

It suddenly came to Rolf… he forgot his good deed of the day! One of Rolf's guilt-ridden traditions was that he should do one good deed a day before the sun sets. Then he would have to sit with his family at dinner and tell them about it. The sun was beginning to disappear over the Western horizon, Rolf panicked. He went over to the fence and leaned on it, pondering. No one was outside now, they were all inside eating dinner.

"See you tomorrow guys!" Rolf heard. He turned to see Edd walking from Ed's house. Rolf noticed he didn't seem to be heading in the direction of his home.

"Head-in-sock-Ed-boy! Come! Rolf wishes to speak with you!" 

Edd walked up, "Hello, Rolf."

"Where are you going?" Rolf asked.

Edd explained, "Well, my parents aren't usually home until late, so when I don't eat with Ed or Eddy I go this this restaurant by the candy store. My parents leave money, you see… even though I'd rather Eddy didn't find out."

Then it came to Rolf… his good deed of the day.

"Do not be blue, friend! Come, feast with Rolf and his family."

"Oh no, Rolf, I couldn't!" Edd was trying to get away… fast. 

Rolf NEEDED a good deed. He HAD to get Edd to eat over. 

"You dare insult Rolf?" Rolf said, his voice becoming angry. This really didn't insult him much, actually, he just knew that no one (even Edd) knew his culture well enough to know better.

Edd felt overwhelmingly guilty. But his subconscious was screaming at him… 

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'No way Double Dee! You've seen what he eats! It looks like something that you would find under Ed's bed! **Ed **didn't even eat Rolf's food… what does that tell you?'

"I'd be happy to join your family for dinner!" Edd said.

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'No! Turn back, Double Dee! Turn back!'

Too late. 

"Mamma! Papa! Rolf has a supper guest!" Rolf called as they entered his home.

A dark skinned lady with blue hair came out, "What is your name, no-named-sock-boy?"

"E-Edward…" Edd said, smiling to be polite. He struggled to ignore the octopus that she was in the process of wrestling.

"Yes, nice to meet you. Rolf's mother must tend to the making of the dinner now… good bye" she said as she walked back into the kitchen.

Edd felt assured by this… she seemed harmless- well, not to octopuses. He was thinking about this for a while until suddenly he saw a hairy wrinkly old face in front of his. He jumped back, started.

The hairy old woman studied his face long and hard… then she mumbled something in a foreign language, laughed a bit and walked away.

"That is my Nana… she is not very educated in the ways of the English." Rolf explained.

Edd was still frozen from the glare. Remembering his manners, he replied, "S-seems like a nice woman… what did she say anyways?"

Rolf laughed for a bit, deciding not to say. After recovering, he changed the topic, "Now, we must proceed into the dining area." Rolf led Edd into the dining room.

Edd froze, in the dining room, not only were the people sitting, but the animals also had chairs.

"You may take Gertrude's chair, she is eating out tonight, Edward-boy" Rolf's mother said.

Edd found the only vacant chair, between the pig Wilfred and the goat Victor, he correctly assumed it was his.

"Those earmuffs look really good on you, Victor, you are very snazzy!" Rolf's grandfather commented.

Edd poked at the food on his plate, trying to put off eating it… not so much to look impolite though. 

"So, Rolf, did you do all your chores?" Rolf's father asked.

"Yes, papa."

"Did you do your good deed?"

"I invited head-in-sock-Ed-boy to join us"

Rolf's nana mumbled something else. Edd raised an eyebrow at Rolf for a translation but Rolf pretended not to notice. 

Rolf's father grumbled. All the others, except for Edd and the animals, grumbled in unison while nodding.

Edd picked up some of the food with his fork and was about to eat it when Victor leaned over and bit the food off his fork. Edd looked at his fork in disgust, imagining what the goat might have eaten earlier, that now contaminates his fork. He put down the fork and took Victor's, thinking that a goat probably would have no use for it.

"Is that fork not good for you?" Rolf's father asked.

"Actually, Victor took some food from it, so I can't use it anymore."

Rolf's father frowned, "Are you accusing a shepherd's goat of contaminating the eating utensil?!"

Edd was frightened now, "Why, of course not, I-"

"You have angered a shepherd and that is not good!" Rolf's father yelled and he stood.

"Do not petrify the guest of Rolf!" Rolf's mother retaliated. 

Rolf's father calmed down.

Rolf's nana mumbled again.

Rolf and his grandfather calmly ate.

"Yes, the father of Rolf will be calm now." Rolf's father said. Suddenly, he pulled out a dagger, screamed a battle cry and lunged over the table at Edd. The dagger stopped just before stabbing Edd in the neck.

If you think you've seen Edd frightened before… well, think of that, times ten.

"Will you except the dagger of forgiveness?" Rolf's father politely asked Edd.

"W-why t-thank y-y-you…" Edd stammered as he took the dagger from Rolf's father. Edd struggled to compose himself but it wasn't working out too well. 

Everyone but Edd had now resumed eating. Edd finally worked up the courage to eat his food.

"Would you like seconds, Edward?" Rolf's mother offered. 

"No thank you, I couldn't eat more…" Edd replied.

"Oh…" Rolf's mother looked disappointed, "then you failed to leave room for desert? I made rhubarb and sheep meat cake."

"Sorry, I really couldn't eat more." Edd responded, this was true, he was trying to hide the fact that he was ready to throw up right then. "I'd better be going, thank you for dinner!" He left the house.

Rolf's nana mumbled once again.

-End-


	2. Surprise Extra!

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Dinner Guest: Surprise Extra!

By: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: I still do not own the Eds

Cactus Buddy: This is an odd little extra Jaha came up with while chatting with ZephyrSamba. Remember how in the story it said that Gertrude the chicken was eating out? Well, this is her dinner out. 

Jaha: oh yeah… and *laughs nervously* a couple people noticed that near the end of my story I accidentally typed "Edd's mother" instead of "Rolf's mother"… sorry about that.

Cactus Buddy: Jaha was getting a little lazy at the end…

Jaha: *about to get angry then-* Yeah… you're right, Buddy. Sorry for the confusion all! So, here's my surprise extra…

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Dinner Guest: Gertrude's Night Out

Gertrude's POV

I wore my best hat, of course. I _have _been trying to work time into my schedule to meet him for dinner for the longest time. I am pretty busy though, between my master's family not letting me eat out on a regular basis and my CFBL (Chickens for a Better Life) dinner meetings… it's hard to find time. However, tonight I can finally go through with the plans that I have been promising I would make for months now.

I used my head to nudge the window open and walked down a thin wooden ramp to my favorite human's bedroom. He sat there at a table, lit only by candlelight. With the room so dim, it almost looked cleaner than it really.

"Gertrude, you made it!" Ed exclaimed. He ran up to me and hugged me. "You should see what I made you for dinner!"

No one understands us chickens like Ed, that's for sure. When he finally released me, I sat down in my chair. You can imagine how hard it is for a chicken to sit in chair, but I got used to it from living with master's family for so long. I came with master from the old country, after all. Wilfred still has troubles now and then… but I am getting off topic.

I sit at my chair and wait for Ed to come back. He finally returns and puts a bowls in front of me, and then places one on the table for him. I look at the food, surprised, Ed knows how to pick out the best quality bird food. I am impressed. I glance up at Ed and see that he is looking eagerly at me, hoping I would like it. I tried it. 

It was great. Ed smiled relieved. He began to eat his own birdseed. I have traveled almost halfway across the earth and there is not a other human like him.

"So, Ed, we are trying to fundraise for-" I began.

Ed chuckled, "cluck cluck, to you too!" he said. 

Oh yes, one annoying thing about him is that I keep forgetting that even though he seems to understand chickens, and he eats birdseed… he still can't understand us. The only way we can make plans like our dinner together tonight is through my master… who, I guess, understands, but doesn't speak. 

Oh well, he is in the process of learning. Ed once told me that maybe his brainy friend might teach him how to speak chicken. I don't know if that guy can speak chicken.

And keep in mind, in some countries, the chickens are dying from starvation and not getting properly educated. Please help them… send donations to:

Chickens for a Better Life

c/o Gertrude

4038 Cul-de-sac Rd

Peach Creek, Canada 483479 

-end- 


End file.
